A boudoir shoot isn’t just the creation of beautiful images. It’s an experience in self love and confidence. One that lets you feel beautiful, empowered, sexy and alive. Creating this amazing mindset to share with your honey is a gift in and of itself-for both of you. The actual art you gift represents the giving of yourself in your relationship-your happiness, your vulnerabilities, your fears, your hopes, your love, your desire for them. The experience represents your commitment to love yourself-and better love your partner in the process.
This stunning bride visited me to create an all black and white album for her husband to be, because he loves black and white photography (as much as he loves her).
I am absolutely loving golden hour rooftop shoots. The light is amazing, and we get a whole different look than inside the studio. Ideal wardrobe for rooftop shoots is edgy, like this black lace strappy/cutout set, and things with movement-like the robe that catches the wind in all sorts of fun ways. Short skater skirts paired with bustiers would be amazing too! Faux fur, long coats-the possibilities are endless.
For rooftop shoots you have to sort of let go of a little bit of control-we are at the mercy of what the sky looks like that day, and how much the wind will blow your hair. But all the elements combine to make something pretty magical.
Alyssa is a beautiful human whom I consider lucky to call a friend. I asked her to write up some words for this year’s transgender day of visibility. Transgender visibility should happen every single day. Every day should be a human day of visibility. Where we are acknowledged and celebrated for our own unique beauty. Until then, women like Alyssa are lighting the way for others to live bravely, boldly and authentically. Thank you, Alyssa, for being you.
Alyssa speaking at RSA Conference about Deepfakes.
March 31 each year is marked as Transgender Day of Visibility. According to the Human Rights Campaign, it is a day to commemorate “the courage it takes to live openly and authentically”. For those that live in silence, hiding their authentic selves, the day can serve as motivation to share their true selves with the world, if only for that one day a year. For others it’s a day to publicly recognize their journey to authenticity and be bold in bringing awareness to the world that transgender people are human beings like everyone else.
As I look at my own situation, I am one of the fortunate ones that can say every day is a day of visibility for me. I have a supporting family, many supporting friends and a wonderfully open and supportive employer. I am also a very public face in my cyber security community. Daily, whether through social media, public speaking appearances, or other media appearances, I have the opportunity to add the human element to people’s perception of the transgender community.
As a result, when Transgender Day of Visibility comes around each year, I use it as a reminder that not everyone is as fortunate as I in that respect. I tend to reflect on the fact that there are so many in the trans community who are forced to live in secrecy, denial, and fear. In the last three years, after over a decade of improvements, it has become more accepted for that small minority of society to verbalize and act out their hatred toward transgender people. As a result, many who may have opened themselves to living authentically have instead kept themselves hidden way.
It’s for this reason that I choose to be open and public about my identity. The platform I’ve been given allows me to have a two-fold impact. First, as I mentioned previously, is giving the trans community a human face in the public space of society. Humanizing transgender people is one of the most effective ways to combat the hate in our world. Second, my daily visibility can serve as an example to others that they don’t need to live in fear. That it is possible to be successful, have a career, and be vocal and open about our identity. It’s not something we have to hide but rather something we can embrace, something that makes us powerful.
So, this year on Transgender Day of Visibility, I want to remind us all that being transgender isn’t a weakness. It’s a unique power that we possess, a vision of the world that few get to experience. We have access to a truly unique perspective that society needs us to share. We stand as clear examples that gender does not define one’s capabilities. We have the ability to transcend the prejudices that divide our civilization. We are the ones that demonstrate a better way to understand and appreciate the uniqueness that every human brings to the conversation. Sure, we experience significant hardships, we feel pain, we endure discrimination and hatred. However, it is in overcoming those challenges and contributing to the world around us that our strength truly shines.
While I truly wish that each of my transgender siblings could embrace this day and share themselves authentically, I also understand that some just are not ready for that yet. That is ok. Please know that those of us who do have the privilege of being visible in our daily lives are working hard to support you and make the world safer and more inclusive for all humans.
I have always been a hopeless romantic. As a teenager I was obsessed with the poetic words of ee cummings (I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart). It didn’t stop there- add in lyrics to indie love songs (me and my girlfriend don’t wear no shoes, her nose is painted a pepper sunlight), romantic novels and movies (Lloyd Dobler anyone?) and you have a full blown hopeless romantic. Maybe that is part of why I love boudoir so much-the romance and beauty of it all.
When you are getting married, a boudoir shoot us such a beautiful way to celebrate your wedding. You get to take a few moments for yourself to get pampered, feel sexy and take a break from all the craziness of wedding planning. You walk out the door with an incredible sense of self love, feeling more confident than ever (good as hell, as Lizzo would say). THAT is a true gift to you and your partner. And if that isn’t enough, you and your partner can look back at your gorgeous album every year on your anniversary, for years to come.
