“Secret” Project

I am so excited to be working on my “secret” project again. That’s what it was called the first time, because I didn’t reveal the concept until the result was complete. 

21 women, sizes 0-20. I’ve done it twice now. Once in 2012 and once in 2016. I’d been hearing women say they needed to lose 10 pounds or they were too old or they had too many babies etc etc, and I wanted to prove them wrong.

As my business grew, I was able to get a more diverse set of volunteers the second time around, including many beautiful skin tones, cancer survivors, women up to 64 years old, and a powerlifter, to name a few. We don’t have to have breasts to be sexy. We don’t have to be 20 to be sexy. We don’t have to lose the baby weight to be sexy. We can be fluid, changing, growing. 

I am working to include trans women and gender queer/nonbinary peeps this time around 🏳️‍🌈. I would love to include disabled women. I would love to include a woman in her 70 or even older (my own grandmother continues to refuse me even though she is the cutest almost 80 year old woman you’ve ever seen and full of sass at that) 😂. 

This project sets me on fire – I am so passionate in my conviction that boudoir is for everyone. We are all so beautiful in our individuality and should be empowered to embrace that beauty and our sexuality-whatever that means to us at the time.  I am so excited to see where this project takes me in 2019. Watch out for updates on my work and the project as it progresses!

Sharing nudes

Recently someone asked me if I even photographed nudes because the work shown on my social media accounts was a little more conservative than she saw by just googling “boudoir photography.” This was the final push I needed to get off my butt and get this blog going.

Lately so many beautiful boudoir images from talented photographers everywhere are being removed from social media accounts of small businesses on the basis that they show excessive skin or “violate community standards.” This forces photographers to choose carefully which images are shared to avoid having their accounts and even private groups shut down. I realize I may be biased based on the nature of my profession, but I don’t really believe in “excessive” skin.

On a happier note, this shoot was so.much.fun. and she really rocked this. I love all the gorgeous details on her lingerie, the texture of her silver bra, the lashes, and of course, the nudes. I have said it before but it is worth repeating. I am so honored when women choose me to help them in their journey of self love and rediscovery, and when they trust me enough to capture gorgeous nudes.

If you think you *might* want to try nudes during your boudoir shoot, but you are terrified (just about everyone is), that’s okay. Before we start shooting, I’ll model each pose for you and show you modifications in case a certain pose is “too much.” Say, you want to be topless but would prefer those shots be more of an “implied nude.” We can easily drape an arm, a sheet, move your hands, etc. so we can tailor your nudes to your comfort level. You will be absolutely amazed at what you are capable of once you take that first step. And you’ll have stunningly beautiful images like this to treasure in 10, 20, and even 30 years.

How did you get into this? Shooting Boudoir?

I get asked this question all the time.  You could say that I literally made it my job to help women love their bodies as a result of hating my own so much.

I always struggled with self image, was always just a little too curvy, never had that flat tummy to show off, and after having kids, things got exponentially worse for me.

I had a cervical condition that prevented me from exercising during pregnancy but we’ll be honest and say I wasn’t doing a lot exercise anyway. I had gained 30 pounds since getting married, and gained 35 more while pregnant.

I ended up with an emergency c section that left me with a floppy belly that hung over my scar. That softness, combined with stretch marks and the heartless effect of gravity left me devastated with my appearance.

At the time I hadn’t shot boudoir professionally yet. It was just becoming more popular nationwide, and a photographer friend of mine suggested photographing me to try it out.

I was maybe 3 months postpartum with my second baby, and the photographer used the equivalent of a spotlight in a dark room to light the portraits. That combined with winging the posing . . . . . to say the results were bad is definitely an understatement. I cried for DAYS.

I decided that this couldn’t ever happen to anyone again, and made the decision to start shooting boudoir myself. I didn’t want any woman to ever hate herself the way I did, and set out to create a space where all bodies could be seen for the beauty they are, and could be celebrated and loved. This is why I specialize in shooting boudoir for women of all shapes and sizes.

A lot of other happy things came out of that day-I joined a gym, started getting serious about my health, and got the confidence I needed to leave my unhappy marriage. During that journey I decided to just.be.happy. To stop fighting it and love my body and commit to loving it going forward.

It was so FREEING.

CHOOSING happiness in my body and letting go of all that angst was a ridiculous weight off my shoulders. To embrace the concept that you can love yourself while also trying to improve your heath – why these concepts are often mutually exclusive, I don’t know.

All of this said, there are still days I struggle. Days I look at my softness and stretch marks and think how I’ll never have flawless skin or an eight pack (I need my chocolate). But it doesn’t take long for me to snap out of it and refocus on the gloriousness of self love.

What is YOUR biggest struggle with loving yourself and what do you do to try to overcome that challenge?

I would love to hear all of your answers!!!